what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
