I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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