Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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