dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
