Life is so much better after having sex.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize