I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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