I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
