You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
