All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i think i just lost a toe
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize