Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
