dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
