Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
