Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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