Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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