i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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