bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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