He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
