nut hugger
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
