fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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