Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
how does that bad decision feel?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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