so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
