I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
