I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
