Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
