Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
