the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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