I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
