May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also, beer. Big fan.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
