Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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