Your tits are I can't wait for
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
