I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
