3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
