Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
