he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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