i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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