Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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