omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
