We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
