beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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