why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
