Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
third nipple confirmed
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
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