You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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