Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
