I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize