Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
wow bdsm is so cute
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
