Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
