we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
