I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
