I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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