I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
