Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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