Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
