dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
