Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
