And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
