playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
