NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you will always have a special place in my vag
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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