please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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