I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
