It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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