she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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