so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
