who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
