I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
